Humans are social creatures. We travel in communities, herds, and packs. There is an unspoken hierarchy, and we fall into place when it comes to social status, socializing, and social settings. When does being social become too much? When does it then become harmful if ever?
I understand that humans do not like being alone; not on the whole anyway, and not all the time. Isolation is "bad" for the human, and so we go out, we socialize, and we intertwine ourselves into a society that is meant to work for the people and by the people. It is seen as a good thing to be social, extroverted, and bubbly. To be introverted, quiet, or observant is; at best, seen as mysterious but more often rubs people the wrong way, makes people suspicious, or otherwise influences an individual to lose interest in you.
Either way, this idea of the human choosing to be "alone" is not very welcome, and has been deemed as harmful in large quantities. What about being social? What happens to the human when the human is socializing in large quantities? What does it become then?
There should be a balance as there should be a balance with everything in life. We are balanced internally (hopefully), and so our external environments should be balanced.
I think it would be crazy to suggest any given human should spend 50% of their waking life socializing and 50% alone. I mean, alone alone. Not in a roommate fog with another energy present, I mean alone.
But I do think it's a good place to start.
I think this idea of the human as an inherently social creature may have come about due to survival patterns in our ancestors. They needed to be social and involved in order to survive and I think we've carried this down into the newer generations and so our souls long for interaction and in some cases, deep intimacy with another.
This is kind of bonkers.
I believe that we are here on this planet for one reason and one reason only: to maximize our healing, to learn the lessons we have set out to learn (long before ever taking our first breath), and to reach a level of self-love, self-care, and self-fulfillment that enables us to transcend into the great beyond. Subsequently breaking the cycle of reincarnation and karma.
That's it!
If you noticed, I used the word "self" a lot there. Nowhere in that reasoning for existence did I say to build a career, get married, and have children. In fact, I might believe that striving for these things is only due to survival reasons, our survival instincts, and what we've been taught on the whole. I think these things distract us from our true purpose here.
I think we need jobs to survive but only because this is a capitalistic society and we would "die" without our comforts in life. Like a roof over our heads, a bed to sleep in, and a place to clean ourselves, rid our bodies of excess energy, or otherwise care for our physical forms - this is a physical dimension after all. I'm talking about a bathroom. I think most humans consider walls with a roof, a bed, and a bathroom to be essentials. They're not, of course. But they are nice.
We are more likely to survive a longer period of time with these things. Without them, we would not die immediately, but we would wear more quickly, I'm sure.
I've had this conversation with a close friend before. Whether our instincts still serve us today and we had concluded that no, most of our survival instincts make way more sense ages ago than they do now. This made me think about our proclivity to socialize and be in communities. I am sure that this served our ancestors as the pack survives while the lone wolf does not.
But we are not wolves, and we are not subjected to the elements and the rest of nature anymore. Not majorly anyway. So, this idea of sticking together in the winter to make it through the cold is much more significant to our ancestors than it is to us today. Moving in packs to fight off predators is something our ancestors needed to survive. I have a door to my living space with a lock on it. And while the door to my living space may not stop a rhino, I do not live amongst rhinos.
I actually think these secular ideas about survival are borderline hypocritical.
I need a romantic partner to survive. No you don't. It makes it easier; dual income and what not - we still live in a capitalist society. When it comes to your personal and spiritual growth, I don't think marriage is necessary. I think romance teaches us lessons and helps us evolve at a soul level when the relationship is right, but this idea of a forever with one person is boring at best and stifling at worst.
I need to be social. No...you don't. Not this much! I think it can be important to socialize sometimes but the extent to which we socialize nowadays is actually killing us.
Rates of suicide have climbed right along with our exposure to society through online platforms and the internet.
We are so connected these days that it is almost severely bad for us. We do not need to be this social to survive as "social creatures". I think there needs to be a balance. Walking outside and running errands, I encounter plenty of other souls to interact with and honestly, not being connected on the internet has made these interactions much more pleasant. It is my direct connection to socializing. Truly socializing. Because double tapping a picture may be labeled as "interaction" in the online community, but it's not. Not really.
We are substituting true social interactions with extremely pale imitations via technology. I'm not saying technology is bad, but anything is bad in excess. We use technology in excess and it disturbs the balance we must strike between our personal lives and our public lives; our alone time and our social endeavors.
Either way, this narrative that humans are social creatures and need social interaction above all else is weird. I think we need to strike a balance, as we need to with all things. I don't think we need a primary partner or "family" to survive this world, and I think these things distract from our soul purposes or spiritual paths in this lifetime.
You do not need to choose one or the other; I am not saying we all need to fuck off to the wilderness and live as monks. We do need balance though.
To the introverts, wall flowers, observers, and those who prefer their alone time, you are not wrong! You are not weird, and you are not failing as a human or failing at life. You're just a little more balanced. The instinct to be social turning into a desperate need for company is damaging.
Balance out the scales between introspection and interaction.
Balance your social life with your alone time. It's good to be social, but it's not good to be that way all the time. If you cannot sit with yourself in your own energy while constantly needing the company of others? You may be imbalanced internally.
Your ancestors needed it, do you?
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