Let's start by defining what Cognitive Distortions are and what they look like. A Cognitive Distortion refers to the (negative and unreal) way we interpret and process certain things. It has a negative connotation and can be damaging to our self-development. We all do this!! You do not need to be labeled as "mentally ill" to experience cognitive distortions. Some of them are learned behaviors that become habits. You may not even realize you do this at all!
Essentially, a cognitive distortion is an improper or false perspective/interpretation of a situation typically influenced by our own lack of self-confidence and the fact that we were never really given the proper tools to DEAL with stressful things. Here are examples of some common cognitive distortions (feel free to find a full list online somewhere):
Overgeneralization - making an interpretation of something apply ALWAYS or indefinitely. Usually involves broad statements. This is typically based on a single event being made out to be bigger than what it is. Have you ever experienced something for the first time a certain way that makes you assume that experience will always be like that? That is overgeneralizing.
Ex: "I tripped over that uneven concrete...I'm so clumsy all the time"
Think about that! It's so simple to make this mistake, and we tend to do it all the time as a way to laugh and rag on ourselves. We gotta stop! Like, my god, some asshole didn't smooth out the concrete properly and now you're labeling yourself because of it? The leap!
Reframe: "Oh, I need to pay more attention!"
Magical Thinking - Now this one is one of my favorites. It is absolutely so silly, but we do it all the time. Now, be honest, are you someone who believes that because you're a good person, only good things should happen to you? Ding Ding Ding! Cognitive distortion. The things that occur in your lifetime have absolutely no connection whatsoever to who you are as a person. Who you are as a person is very much controlled by you and fostered intrinsically. Events? Situations? Extrinsic. Out of your control. It would literally take a magical conspiracy to link those two things. But still, we move through life believing that doing good things brings goodness to you. Says who? Magical Thinking is believing a certain act will influence an unrelated situation.
Ex: Believing "Prayers and Thoughts" is actually doing something after a mass shooting - Does this one really need to be explained?
Reframe: You cannot put a hypothetical band aid on a bleeding wound. If I had a broken leg and someone tried to heal it with some thoughts? I'd be pissed and calling them crazy. This way of thinking is actually insane.
Mind Reading & Fortune Telling - Basically, jumping to conclusions based on little to no evidence. You cannot read minds, so that intrusive thought you just had that because your mom is Catholic, she won't accept that you're gay? Cognitive distortion!! There is no evidence to this at all actually. And, you may be overgeneralizing a bit here about Catholics! No need to stress! This is not real. Fortune telling is fun, "I'm going to fail my math test today," "I won't make the team," "My parents are going to get a divorce." Stop right there!! You don't know any of that. Firstly, you cannot read minds, you have no idea what the coach is looking for, so you have no evidence to suggest you won't make the team! Next time you find yourself dooming your chances at something, ask yourself, where is the evidence?
MR Ex: "If I don't show up to practice, everyone will be mad and I probably won't get to play."
Reframe: People have emergencies and missing one practice won't jeopardize your spot on the court. Think of all the practices you've MADE! Don't discount those times (another cognitive distortion - Magnification & Minimization: Only paying attention to the bad and catastrophizing while discounting all the good. Ex: Believing your mistakes are more severe than your achievements).
FT Ex: "Your parents got divorced when this happened so my parents will also get divorced if this happens."
Reframe: People are so fucking unique how could you possibly believe we'll all react the same way to everything? Silly, silly.
Emotional Reasoning - Letting your emotions frame your perspective of the world. This was really hard for me to unlearn. I definitely used to believe that if I felt it, it was real. This isn't true. Just because you feel like a bad friend doesn't make you a bad friend. How silly is that? Imagine if I could just have a thought about you and in the act of doing that, it would be so. WHAT? Don't let temporary feelings define values in your life. Just because your brother's murder went unsolved does not mean you have a calling to be a cop. Your pain may be powerful, but it doesn't actually put things into law.
Ex: My friend is sad, and it's making me uncomfortable. I don't deal with emotions very well.
Reframe: Says who! You may be uncomfortable for unrelated reasons. Or maybe because you're so close to them? Have you ever been around sad family members, strangers, acquaintances? This is a bit over overgeneralizing as well. Maybe you don't deal with sadness very well, but to discount your ability to deal with other emotions based off of one? Yikes.
There are a few more, but these are the ones I personally struggle with. I jump to conclusions all the time. It's quite humbling to check your cognitive distortions. We may feel powerful because we hold all the power in our world and we're at the center of it, but we don't actually have super powers. Next time you're experiencing a negative thought, try and discern if it's a pattern for you. Maybe you struggle with one of these cognitive distortions a lot and didn't realize it until now!
Honestly, just discovering these existed and were abnormal was relieving to me. They are negative thought patterns! If you find yourself feeling a little negative, check a list of distortions and make sure you're not living in a fantasy world of suffering.
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