I had quite the epiphany today that I'd like to share with you all and it is simply this: Pity Parties can be healthy. In fact, I think it is evidence of self-love and I will explain my reasoning.
Of course my caveat is can be, given these parties are thrown in reasonable quantities and not in droves. A Pity Party, in my own definition, is the stage of grief that you have for yourself prior to entering a phase of wallowing. I am not referring to wallowing, I think if you get to this level, you need to quickly pick up and move on. Pity Parties however, are completely and totally acceptable. They're healthy!
I think throwing yourself a Pity Party shows that you care enough about yourself to feel sorry that the person you are got hurt. How healthy is that! You care "enough" about yourself to feel sorry for yourself. Why in the hell is this seen as a bad thing? "Don't feel sorry for yourself," the people say, "It's pathetic!" Why?
Feeling "not good enough" is very common, and not acknowledging your hurt, and feeling worthy enough to feel sorry for yourself, can be evidence you do not love yourself enough. Being able to feel sorry for yourself hurting is evidence you do love yourself. At least you love yourself "enough" to feel sorry you're hurting. You deserve someone who cares about you enough to be upset that you got hurt. Sometimes that person is ourselves, and spoiler alert, it's healthier that way! Be the person you need to take care of you.
The flip side of this is that you think you deserve the hurt you're feeling and so you shoulder it/shove it down and move on instead. Sounds a lot to me like burying your pain due to feelings of unworthiness. Whether that be unworthy of happiness, peace, or stability, you are feeling like you deserve your hurt and so you do not feel sorry for yourself. This seems wildly unhealthy compared to a Pity Party.
And a healthy Pity Party looks like eating your favorite comfort foods, being in your comfiest clothes, and putting on the movies that enable you to cry freely. Yes, I am insisting you make yourself cry. Crying releases neurotoxins in our brains and is extremely healing when it comes to releasing pain. So, do it! Do it with friends, or do it alone; however you roll best, but throw yourself a Pity Party if you need to!
Being able to accept that you are hurting, and then caring enough for yourself to have a crying session about it is the healthy way. Sitting back and accepting that you got hurt because you're a "bad person" or you "deserve" this somehow is far worse and could lead to unprocessed feelings cropping up later.
When was the last time you got hurt? Did you make sure to feel sorry for yourself and cry it out? Or did you watch the emotions go by just enough to shove them down? Rewire your brain! Pity Parties are healthy and a showing of self-love.
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