Anytime one decides to not follow their heart, that piece of their heart hardens. Think of the people you never pursued, the passions you never dove into or the times you didn't strike while the iron was hot. Anything that ever itched at your heart that you didn't scratch? Put your heart in its own coffin.
Referencing the people; this is the easiest way to calcify your feeble heart. Any person you hold in your heart that you weren't honest with about your emotions? Is a rock in your valves. What is so terrifying about being honest with your feelings anyway? Rejection? Is that really everyone's biggest fear?
I can say with 100% confidence that rejection is not all that bad. I mean, it sucks; don't get me wrong. But it's not the worst thing to ever happen to anyone. There is much greater, more specified pain out there; trust me. Rejection? Not even on the list.
Rejection isn't entirely personal the way everyone wants you to believe it is and I'll tell you why. Often, rejection comes soon; before proper and honest assessments can be made. Rejection is doled out for many reasons off the bat and none of them - I mean none - have anything to do with you. It comes from the idea of you that has been solidified by a perspective you can never fully understand because it is not your own or based on any of your experiences but theirs. And this perspective? Horribly biased every time.
A lot of the time we like to project our past experiences onto the next person. It's natural! It's something we all have to unlearn because we think this projection is evidence that we've learned from the past; it's not. The only evidence it provides is that you're not over it or even a little bit healed from it.
And, I dated someone who would not stop projecting all their past shit on me. It was so bad that I was hearing about an ex of theirs literally every day. Every single day I would hear, "Well, she did this..." or "She wasn't like that," "She, She, She...." It was slightly infuriating not because I was offended, but because it was boring and overdone. It's not that I don't want to hear about your past, I just don't wish to be compared to it or have it projected onto me. It's weird.
And one good talk about how your past affects your present is good and of course I'll be delicate to any wounds, but why are you back in the dating pool if you still have reservations about people? Did you learn nothing? There are no rules to love!! Each experience is unique and each dynamic stands alone. You can't possibly compare exes to currents. It's an impossible game in which everyone loses. Leave your ghosts in the past.
So, you've been rejected. I'm here to tell you early rejection is more about them than you. It's not you, but what you represent to them. Something about you screams, "danger" and they need out. That's not on you for them being a coward. So, if your biggest fear about following your heart when it comes to people is rejection? Let it go. Change your perspective of rejection and identify that it's just as much about them as it is about you. At the very least. Mostly? It's all about them and their own fears.
Passions, inspiration, and striking while the iron is hot! Ever have an idea that makes you giddy only to let it slide by the wayside as the day progresses because of duties and responsibilities? Practicality is good for material success but what about personal successes? The kind that make you feel whole and loved and happy within yourself? Reasoning through emotions has got to be the actual definition of crazy. You can't logic your way through feelings. You look like a fool!
But isn't giddiness a foolish feeling? Shouldn't we be shoving down anything that makes us feel like a child? WHAT?!
When did we deduce that childish behavior was bad? It can be immature, sure, but that's not what I'm talking about. I mean, if you were to see a full grown ass man skipping down 5th Ave in a suit, carrying a briefcase, you would do a double take. The paper boy singing on his bike while making deliveries? Lunacy! It seems as though expression of the "good" things in life has been slotted for the children only. Why?
It's fear of embarrassment, really. As we grow older, this fear grows with us. It's absolutely bonkers! I have a theory for why.
As children, we don't know yet who we are so we're not totally set on the impressions we give out. We're learning! There's room for forgiveness when it comes to mistakes. As adults? We're supposed to have our shit figured out, right? Mistakes and embarrassments are much more personal now that we've worked for years building a certain persona. When that persona crashes we panic because it's who we are now, not just something we're trying on for fun as children often do with personalities and hobbies. As adults, all our passions have been solidified in place. This is our life now, we think. And the routines and habits that follow hold us hostage forever.
Take that trip when you're inspired to do it, start that project! It's not silly if it inspires you. The alternative? A heart attack in your early 60's from all your emotional blockages stemming from the loves you let pass you by, the passions you never explored, and the inklings you never followed. Be adventurous! Trust your heart. Being giddy is for all ages! Stop letting the children hold a monopoly over skipping, dancing, singing, and eating candy. You too can be bold with your heart without ever needing to feel embarrassed. It's a hell of a lot better than letting it harden.
Comments